Joy comes in the Evening...

WAIT WHAT!?

Tuesday was my birthday. But the day was far from pleasant. First, I didn't sleep well the night before. Then, when I went to update the LIMBS patient database, several patient bios were missing. After extensive searching I found all but two, which still cannot be found. Both the hard and soft copies have disappeared. The only identifying information I have is the serial numbers from their knees. GRRRRR!! Then, to add to everything else, there was the prospect of spending my birthday evening alone in my house.

By the end of the work day, I had decided enough was enough. Whether I had anyone to celebrate with or not, I was going to make the night special! SO THERE!!!!!

After work, I trekked up to the shops and bought ice cream, meat, and an extra liter of milk; all luxuries for me, bought only for special occasions! On my way to my house from the shops, I decided to stop by and say hi to a friend, a widow from Australia, I've made here in Kijabe. When she found out that it was my birthday, she came down to my house and we had a wonderful evening chatting and celebrating. Her visit and our “party” made my whole day worth it!

Now I am not saying that my family and other friends ignored me. In fact, I heard from every single member of my immediate family, a few friends, and received over 30 facebook posts. But it is not the same as having someone here in person to celebrate with you.

Thursday, started out slow and rough but got better in the afternoon. I usually attend a ladies Bible study from 1-2 pm on Thursdays. Well, right before I packed up to attend Bible study; I got an email announcing a delivery of raspberries to the school up the hill. These raspberries are too ripe to export or even sell in Kenya so somebody at the school has arranged to pick up some and bring them back to Kijabe. We just have to pay transport; about $1 a gallon. WHOA! What a treat! Usually, raspberries cost at least a couple of dollars for a tray of just 12 berries. 

Ok, so back to Bible study. Several of the ladies wanted some raspberries but since the delivery was scheduled right smack dab in the middle of our Bible study time. However, I offered to go up and get them.  I had already arranged to borrow a container from another missionary at Moffet, so along with the 2 other containers from the missionary at Moffat and 3 from the ladies at the Bible study, up I went to collect raspberries; all 24 liters! (4 liters for me, 8 for the lady who lent me the container, and 12 for the Bible study ladies. FYI: Each container holds 4 liters)

Mercifully, God provided someone to carry me to and from the delivery location so I didn’t have to carry all those raspberries by myself! I did mention that these raspberries are REALLY ripe, right?

DELICIOUS!!!!!!

I caught the tail end of Bible study and afterwards “helped” divvy up the “spoils”! And of course you know “helping” means consuming close to a cup of raspberries in one sitting!! Hehe!!

Oh how I enjoy helping people, especially if I’m already heading in that direction anyway. I don’t know what made me happier;  getting the raspberries or helping others enjoy the same!!

As I mentioned earlier, I stopped by a friend’s house the evening of my birthday.  The people she is staying with were planning a trip to Nairobi on Friday. As it happens, I needed several things from the grocery store in Nairobi and had been asking and praying for transport into town this week; either Thursday or Friday. I had all but given up hope. Well, God knew what he was doing because what I intended as a polite pop-in to say hello, God meant as a provision for me and my friend’s needs.  Not only did God provide me with birthday company and the opportunity to go into Nairobi, but He also provided the opportunity for my friend to get out of the house and spend some time away from her housemates! I had no idea that she was dreading the trip into Nairobi because it meant following her housemates, a couple, around clothing stores all day.

God knew we needed each other and provided in a way only He could do!!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

When Trials Come...

“When I am down and oh my soul so weary, when troubles come and my heart burden be. Then I am still and wait here in the silence, until you come and sit awhile with me.

             You raise me up so I can stand on mountains, You raise me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong                            when I am on your shoulders. You raise me up to more than I can be.

There is no life, no life without sorrow, each restless heart beats so imperfectly. But when you come, I am filled with wonder. Sometimes I think I’ve glimpsed eternity.” (Josh Groman)

These words have meant a lot to me during the last few weeks. 

I have struggled quite a bit since returning to Kenya after a month in the USA. Maybe it was exhaustion from such a busily scheduled trip in the USA. Maybe it is the increased stress during the last month. Maybe it is spiritual warfare.

Whatever the case, times are tough. I am having interpersonal relation problems with some of the people I work with in the orthopedic workshop at CURE.

 Every time I try and sit down and write this update, I got writer’s block. Recently, it seems as if my head is attached physically, but detached in every other sense.

I can feel myself burning out and at a time when I need more enthusiasm not less. I have a little more than a month to finish planning and preparing for the first LIMBS training to be held since I came to Kenya in 2011.  

Also, this year is the 10 year anniversary of the start of research on the LIMBS knee. In celebration of this, LIMBS is providing the prosthetic components to fit 500 above knee amputees around the world. However, there is a catch. As some of you know, LIMBS work here has not gotten off the ground the way the organization would like it to. Therefore, I have been told that if 100 or more knees are not fitted to patients in Kenya this year LIMBS may pull out of Kenya entirely. I have been trying everything I can think of to get the program running here, but with little success. So you can add the stress of sink or swim to my life. Though I know in my head that failure would not be entirely my fault, I still feel like if LIMBS does fail, it would be my fault because there must have been something I could have done to make it succeed.

Also, over the last 5 weekends, I have been unwell three of them. The first was jetlag. The next was over a conference and caused by the food. The last was last weekend and was caused by contaminated water.

Last weekend, I was so sick that once I came home from work on Friday, I barely left the house until Monday morning. Yes, I know I am in a developing country and water systems do get contaminated. But what frustrated me about the whole thing is the lack/refusal of communication about the water situation. Water contamination happens in the USA as well, however, the contamination is communicated quickly and thoroughly so that few people are at risk of getting sick because of lack of communication. 

As an American, I like to come at things head on. However, many Kenyans care more about appearances and relationships than solving the issue quickly. They are two completely different approaches to solving problems and are heavily based on the culture they were developed in. Both have their merits and pitfalls.

Having said all this, I still believe God wants me here in Kenya and so I will stay until He tells me otherwise.

Prayer Requests:

Some of these are new and some are ongoing

• The LIMBS Knee Evaluation would continue getting off the ground and that it would run smoothly
  
  
  That I will catch on and learn Swahili quickly
• Use of the LIMBS prosthetic system would pick up in Kenya
• Better communication between me and those I work with
• Patience and Loving-Kindness toward those co-workers that frustrate me
• Better interpersonal skills with those around me
• That preparations for the upcoming LIMBS training would go smoothly 
• That the training would run smoothly
• That those you are supposed to attend this training will be able to
• That I would stay healthy
• For God’s provision for my finances
• For God’s guidance in my life and work in Kenya
• That my new passport would arrive in time for me to go to my brother's wedding in March. I applied for it this week and it should be here by the end of the month, but if anything goes wrong .....)
• Strong walk with the Lord
• Wisdom in relationships
• Punctuality in Updates
• Patience under pressure!
• Reliable Internet
• Good Business Relations with those around me!
• Adjustment to life and culture in Kenya
• That I will be able to properly write up patient stories and edit their videos
• Productivity- I want to make the most of my time here in Kenya
• Wisdom-To know when to give money and when not to
• My Mental Faculties - That I will remember what I need to buy, where to buy it, and when.
• Health and Sleep
• Spiritual Growth
• That I will make good friends quickly!

Around the World and Back Again!

For those who don't know, I spent a month in the USA at the end of last year. I left November 22nd and returned on December 31st/January 1st. It was a busy trip. I traveled about every 3-4 days the entire time. While outside Kenya, I spent time in North Carolina (Durham, Winston-Salem, and Charlotte), Texas (El Paso and Longview), Georgia (Rome/Berry)and Grand Cayman.

I wish I had more pictures, however, my camera broke shortly after I left Kenya. Therefore, you will have to rely on my words alone.

First of all, I want to tell you GOD PROVIDES!

Kijabe is about an hour away from the airport. I took 2 large suitcases and 2 carry-on sized suitcases with me to the USA. This made using public Kenyan Transport difficult to impossible. I found a friend in Nairobi that was willing to take me from Nairobi to the airport, but I still needed to find transport from Kijabe to Nairobi. God did one better! He provided me with transport from Kijabe directly to the airport with some other missionaries travelling the same day.

The journey did have its' hiccups. Somewhere between my seat on the plane to London and the International terminal in London, my "total pillow" travel pillow got lost. It was never found. In view of everything that could have gone wrong, this loss was minor. Especially since all my luggage made it and i was met by my entire family at the airport in North Carolina! =)

When I have a chance I will try and tell you more about my adventures during my month outside Kenya. But for now I am focusing on God's provision during my international flights.

Fast forward to December 31st......

I did not sleep much the night before I left to return to Kenya. Even with my mental fog, I made it to the airport to check in with all my bags.

CUE GOD'S PROVISION!

When the ticketing agent checked me and my 6 bags into the system, the extra baggage fees came to about half of what they should have been! That's a savings of $360!

Security went smoothly and I was off.

While waiting at the gate, I checked my messages and email and found out the transportation and lodging I had all planned out before I left Kenya, fell through! I sent off some messages, but because of the time difference I didn't expect anything back for several hours.

My flight of the three leg journey was booked solid so I got assigned the first seat on the small American Eagle Plane; seat 1A. The cool thing about this seat is: 1. You can look out your window and see down the breezeway, 2. The breezeway seems to come straight at you when it approaches the plane, and 3. You can talk to the flight attendant during take-off and landing because he/she is sitting right in front of you, looking at you. Also, Because  I was in the very front of the plane, I overheard the exchange between the gate agent, flight attendant, and pilots before the door closed. Apparently, the plane was overloaded (I wonder why? =P Could it be the passenger who checked 340 lbs of luggage?) and the airline wanted to take a British couple off the plane. However, if this happened, the couple would miss their flight connection to London.
By rearranging some carry-ons under two empty seats, utilizing the crew storage compartment, and the pilots working a little "magic", we were finally released from the gate with all passengers on board. The plane took a little extra runaway to take off and land due to the weight, but other than that, everything was fine. I had a good chat with the flight stewardess and when we landed she gave me some water and juice to carry with me. Once I reached the gate for my flight to London, I had a wonderful last american meal of leftover pizza, apples, and the juice from the flight attendant. While I was eating I checked my messages/emails to find out if their was any progress in finding a place to spend the night in Nairobi after I reached the airport.

NO RESPONSES FROM THE GUESTHOUSES!

Before I boarded my flight to London, I called and said good bye to everyone on my US cellphone.

The flight from JFK to London was mostly empty and I had an entire row to myself. Though I still did not sleep well, it was nice to stretch out a bit. In London, I had to change terminals and reenter security at the International Terminal. Security is one of the hardest things about London. Everyone in line has been through security at least once before and probably just arrived off another long haul flight. Without fail, I am always sweating by the time I get through and head to the main waiting area. In London, gates are not announced until 50 minutes before a flight. This means you have to watch the clock because some gates take 20 minutes or more to get to and the gates close 15 minutes before a flight's departure time.

I was in one of the last group to board the flight to Nairobi so the overhead storage above my seat was full. Thankfully, I found some storage a few rows back.

AND STILL NO RESPONSE ABOUT HOUSING OR TRANSPORT!

The flight to Nairobi was full and I was anxious. What was going to happen when I got to the airport? How would I find a place to stay? My phone had run out of credit. As much as I try to trust God to provide, it takes divine intervention for me to actually do it. The flight wasn't bad, though my entertainment system/screen locked up half way through the flight.

As many of you have heard, the international arrivals terminal at the airport near Nairobi burnt down. Therefore, when our flight landed we were loaded onto buses and taken to the temporary "arrivals" area. (Read this as a large warehouse/hanger type building divided into pre and post immigration areas.) Since our flight got in at the same time as another flight, twice the people had to funnel through the makeshift immigration booths. Soon after passing through immigration, I found out that the chaos of the immigration lines was nothing compared to collecting luggage. The airport was only running 2 small carousels, 1 for each flight. Also, they must have been using only one baggage train/cart because it was at least 20 minutes between each baggage offload. It took me over an hour, but I did collect all 6 of my bags!

ENTER GOD'S PROVISION!

There were several other people from Kijabe (RVA) on my flight, a family and two young ladies. The two ladies ended up at end of the immigration line. So rather than checking their trunks every time they passed on the baggage carousel, I pulled them off and sorted each one's luggage into a separate stack. AND GUESS WHAT?! It's 11:30pm and I still don't have transport or a place to stay!!!!

One of the ladies, an RVA teacher, let me use her phone to call the AIM guesthouse, Mayfield, and they had room for me. YES, I found a room! Now I just needed a LARGE taxi to get there!

WELL, GOD DID ONE BETTER!

It turns out that the guy I called to drive me back to Kijabe the next day, was the same guy who was picking the two young ladies up from the airport and then heading straight to Kijabe. They were willing to take as much of my luggage as space allowed so I wouldn't need to carry so much in the taxi. WELL, GUESS WHAT!? All the ladies' luggage fit in the back of the driver's car and ALL of mine fit into the roof rack perfectly. (I mean like JIGSAW PUZZLE PERFECT) Also, because everything fit so well, I was able to ride with them all the way back to Kijabe THAT night and in my own little house by 2:30 am!

Now onto the next adventure......... JETLAG!!!!!!

The Roller Coaster of Life

It has been too long since I last updated this blog. I got so focused on trying to put together my support letter for my next 2 year term with LIMBS International that my brain burned out. If any of you following this would like a copy of my letter and have not gotten one already, please let me know and I will email it to you.

A lot has happened since I last updated.

I got the opportunity to join the Local AIC Kijabe church on their annual missions trip to Amaya in East Pokot the last week of August. While there, I met a 12 year old boy named Kipilat. He was born with only one leg. His parents 

died when he was young and he has been passed from neighbor ever since. Because of his limited mobility and poverty, Kipilat has not had access to education until this year when the local east pokot church stepped in and enrolled him in preschool. Before I arrived, no one knew that anything could be done for the boy. After I told them about the LIMBS prosthesis, the boy was brought to CURE in Kijabe where we measured and fabricated a prosthetic leg just for him. By the end of September, Kipilat was walking on his own for the first time in his life!

Me and Risa's Mother and sisters

Part of my job is following up with patients using the LIMBS leg. Risa is a Maasai who lost his leg when he had an epileptic attack as a child and fell into the cooking fire. Traditionally, the Maasai are a nomadic people moving from place to place, caring for goats and cattle.If a man cannot walk, he cannot herd animals and therefore is a burden to the community. Many with physical disabilities are ignored by the community or hidden away. This was the case for Risa until he got his LIMBS prosthesis.
 You see, Risa sustained massive burns across his lower body and right side. Doctors were able to save his left leg. However, the knee is completely fused. Therefore, the only prosthetic option for Risa is a leg with a free moving joint and the LIMBS knee is not only a low cost free moving joint, but also works like a normal knee does, locking when loaded with weight. Once Risa started using this leg, he was able to rejoin his community. I finally got a chance to visit Risa in his homeplace. The community has given him some goats to care for and he watches over both his and his uncle’s animals. He cares for his mother and siblings just like any other oldest son would do. His mother and aunt presented me with a Maasai necklace. I felt VERY honored!

On September 21st, Westgate Mall, outside Nairobi, was attacked and held under siege for 3 days. On this particular weekend, I was in Kijabe looking after a couple children for a missionary family while their parents were away. I did not find out about the siege until they got home and turned on the television. For the next few days, most of us were glued to the television watching as the situation unfolded. Many ex-pats and missionaries frequent this mall so it hit everyone hard. Tension was high during the first hours of the siege as everyone called everyone else they know to make sure they were okay. Only two Kijabe-linked families were in Westgate Mall when the attack started, but both quickly escaped. After the siege was over, some tension was relieved but the attack left the country in shock. Clean-up has begun as lives are moving on. We are healing. Kenya has been wounded but not broken. Nowadays, extra vigilance is taken and many in Kijabe make sure that others know where they are going when leaving Kijabe. LIFE CONTINUES.

October was a busy month. The first week, I went to Malindi, on the coast of Kenya, for an Orthopedic Technology Conference.The only bus directly to Malindi is a night bus. So, because I was presenting on the first day of the conference, I left Kijabe a day early. The extra time allowed me to acclimate to the heat and humidity and spend some time with Orthopedic Technologists working in the Ministry of Health.  We visited the Malindi District Hospital, the beach, and had lunch at a local café. God’s provision was evident that day because this informal time with these top government people allowed me to get to know them better and even discuss the future of LIMBS in Kenya. The next few days of the conference were busy but went well. I returned to Kijabe after the conference on Friday so I could be back by Saturday when I was expecting a guest. WELL, I got sick. I was able to entertain a little, but slept most of the day. I spent the entire next Sunday in bed. The rest gave me enough strength to return to work on Monday. 

Then sorrow struck, a young translator friend of mine died suddenly from a pulmonary embolism. This young man was only 30 years old. He was working hard to make a difference in his poverty stricken community. His death hit everyone hard. I attended the funeral along with most of his community and some members of RVA (Rift Valley Academy, where he worked as a librarian). Everyone was emotional.

Time helps heal wounds and so have the last couple of weeks.

A few weekends ago, I went to visit a friend’s, Linda’s, family in Nairobi. She is a student at Kenya Medical Training College studying Orthopedic Technology. She is on attachment for 3 months at CURE. I really enjoyed spending time with her family. However, the entire weekend was overshadowed because my wallet was stolen. I lost my Kenyan ID, Credit Card, ATM Card, and some money. Thankfully, I will be back in the States at the end of November so I will only have to live without them for a few weeks. If it had to happen, now is the best time. God is in control so I don’t have to worry about it. God provides!

Two day Vacation

As I mentioned in my last post, I have been doing a lot of business travel recently with mostly disappointing results. Therefore, I decided I needed to get away for a couple of days to relax before I head to western Kenya on the 18th. It just so happens that a friend of mine is in Mombasa right now, so, on Thursday, I took a bus to visit her. In addition to the comfort of relaxing with a friend, the 80 something degree weather made a nice change to the "high of 60" weather here in Kijabe.

Mombasa is on the coast of Kenya along the Indian ocean. Although the city itself is built on an island, most of the surrounding coastal region is referred to as Mombasa. You may have heard in the news about turmoil in Mombasa. This unrest is not targeted at foreigners specifically, but at the Kenyan Government.

Have you ever heard of Texas pride? Well, that is the closest description I know to the attitudes of Mombasa natives. Like Texas, Mombasa has threatened on multiple occasions to separate from the rest of Kenya and the Mombasa culture is entirely different than everywhere else in Kenya. The people move slower, talk slower, socialize more, and in general take friendliness to a whole new level.

Yes, Mombasa has its problems like any other major city in the world. Almost all, if not all, major cities have areas to avoid at certain times, situations and things to watch out for, and safe & unsafe methods of transport.travel. As long as you know what to look out for and what to avoid, you are fine. My friend grew up in Mombasa and knows all about the city and surrounding area.

I was so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I spent the first day of my vacation relaxing within earshot of the palm trees and the ocean and just reading. It was great to do nothing!! I cooked dinner that night and got lots of compliments from my friend and her friends. What an esteem builder!

Sukuma Wiki, a common Kenyan Dish made
with Kale/Spinach, tomatoes,  and garlic or onions.
Usually served over a starch or as a side dish.

Saturday, we moved to Mombasa itself and I went to a bakery, helped my hosts' son build a "tent" (made of towels, chairs, and a broom), and WENT SWIMMING!! I loved being in the water and working out in it, but I also realized just how out of shape I am. One lap and I was winded! Eventually, I built my endurance up a bit and got a great workout! By the end my legs were jelly, but I truly enjoyed my time in the water. One of the things I miss most about North Carolina is swimming. Growing up, I got to swim every summer as well as visit the ocean. In Texas, I got to play a bit in a pool once, but that was all. Kijabe is TOO cold to swim. I don't think the temperature ever rises much above 75 Fahrenheit here. Therefore, this trip to Mombasa was almost like paradise! The ocean, the heat, the pool, the company, etc.

I got back to CURE this morning and am leaving tomorrow for western Kenya until late Thursday night, but last week seems like months ago. I am emotionally, mentally, and physically refreshed. (Ok, so right now I am a little sleep deprived and ate something my body didn't like yesterday, but these are minor things compared to how I felt before.)

Me and the Mombasa Sunset

Prayer Items:

• I am headed to Kitale and Eldorat for a mobile clinic tomorrow. Please pray for travel mercies and for those we will minister to both physically and spiritually.
• My Alien Registration card is not ready yet. It is supposed to take 5 weeks to process, but it has already taken taken that long. This card serves as my legal ID in Kenya and until I get it, I have to carry my passport with me everywhere I go.
• I am discouraged about the LIMBS progress here in Kenya. Other than project sponsored patients, there have been no new patients fit with the LIMBS Knee this year. Pray for guidance!
• I am getting over a cold! Pray for healing!

PRAISE THE LORD!

• First, God allowed me to get involved with several missionaries (both long and short term) in Kijabe.
• MY COMPUTER IS FIXED!!!!!!!!!! Now I just need to find safe transport for it from the USA to Kenya!
• God provided the opportunity for me to travel to Mombasa to relax with a friend. AND, and added bonus, I had the best seat in the bus on the way there!

My view (in Nairobi) headed to Mombasa.

• I got to the bus station an hour and a half early and therefore, was able to enjoy a cup of tea and read my Bible for AN ENTIRE HOUR before the 8.5 hour bus ride! =) 
• God brought me safely from Mombasa back to Kijabe!
  

Full Circle

The Femural IM Nails I helped modify while at Cedarville.

This week I had the opportunity to travel to Tenwek Hospital near Bomet. Many of you may not know, but this is the hospital we partnered with during my senior design project, resizing and reverse engineering femoral Russel-Taylor nails.
My goal during this trip was to introduce the LIMBS Knee system to Tenwek. However, after discussing with the prosthetic in Tenwek, I realized that the hospital has a steady supply of donated prosthetic components and therefore the LIMBS Knee would be more expensive for patients instead of the free donated components. All was not lost though, I was able to see the finished modified Russell-Taylor Nails. This was important to me because inventorying and shortening the nails was my part of the senior design project and these nails were like my babies! I was almost brought to tears when I saw the results of my hard work; the use of the nails by those who need them most.

Me and Samuel, the person in charge of the
orthopedic implants at Tenwek.

God works in strange ways. While I was looking at the nails, a Japanese missionary nurse approached me and asked if I had had anything to do with modifying the nails. I told her I had, she asked if she could take my picture and went to get her camera. After she took several pictures on her IPad, we struck up a conversation. At the time, I didn’t understand why she had tears in her eyes. However, later, when she emailed the pictures to me she explained how much of an encouragement I had been to her. We had been talking about the challenges of organization in Kenya (and the hospitals in particular) and apparently she had just returned to find the extensive organization work she had done in the basement destroyed by a renovation project. When we were talking, I had no idea just how much my words of frustration about trying to keep things organized and my compliments on how organized the sterile storage room looked would mean to her at that moment. I am not by nature an encourager, but God knew this nurse really needed encouragement at that precise moment. All glory goes to GOD!

I stayed in Tenwek an extra day so I could catch a ride with someone leaving for Nairobi at 5am on Thursday.  Therefore, I spent the day sorting and inventorying prosthetic components for Tenwek’s Rehab Department.

Some of the organized prosthetic components
(and rotary grinder on right).

Prosthetic Department at Tenwek.
(That is a standard size oven)

Bright and early on Thursday morning, we left for Nairobi. By 8:30 am I had been dropped in Mai Mahu (which translated means “Hot Water”), the town below Kijabe and was awaiting a piki-piki (motorbike) to carry me up the hill. By 9am, I was back in Kijabe and working at CURE Hospital. That evening I made a cake for a friend and attended praise team rehearsal.

Friday, I went into Nairobi to meet with a patient. The meeting didn’t work out but I did get to meet an incredible missionary couple transitioning between ministry locations.

It had been a busy week, but a fulfilling one.

Prayer Requests

• There is a terrible cold virus going around Lower Station, Kijabe. Please pray that those who have caught the virus will get better quickly.
• My support is low. Please pray for God's provision.
• Please pray for my work here. I have been in Kenya almost 2 years now and yet I am still working on a project that was supposed to take 6 months and only a handful of patients have even used the LIMBS Knee. Please pray that I will know what to do and how to do it.
• Because of the frustrations mentioned in the previous request, I have bee feeling discouraged. Please pray for my emotional stability and moods. \
• I am planning to visit the USA in November-December. Please pray that the details would be ironed out.

Praises

• Praise God I have my voice back. I have had a cold for the last two and a half weeks and the incident with the policeman (refer to previous post) caused me to lose my voice. I was frustrated at not being able to sing, but now I can again!
• Praise God for providing transportation for my trips this week and safety while I was travelling.
• Praise God for Missionary Friends and community.
• Praise God for my cat, Tiger. He provides my with companionship, but also keeps away the vermin. 
• Praise God for faithful supporters who support me and the ministry both in prayer and finances.

When I am Weak, HE is strong!

Last Friday I had an anxiety attack in Nairobi.

Now, before you arrange/demand my immediate return to the USA, let me explain.

Thursday evening, I was asked to accompany a missionary and his Kenyan secretary to Nairobi for propriety sake. Since there was not much for me to do in Kijabe on Friday, I agreed to go.

I did not sleep well Thursday night because of incessant nightmares. But all the same, I got up Friday morning and went about my business until the three of us left for Nairobi.

The morning was uneventful, he had a meeting so she and I hung out in the food court at the shopping center.  she had a dentist appointment after lunch so we were free until then. I got a little work done on my (temporary) laptop and we walked around a bit. Nothing really exciting.

After lunch, the secretary went to her appointment and the missionary and I went to find a fuse for my converter. After an hour of unsuccessfully searching for the right fuse. We headed back to the shopping center to pick up the secretary.

WELL, then things happened. A policeman waved us over to the side of the road (aka. Our car got pulled over by the policeman.) right outside the shopping center. The policeman told us that we had turned without signalling. (We had signaled, but you never argue outright with a Kenyan Policeman.) He was going to charge us with reckless driving, an offense carrying a fine of over $1,000. He told us we "could finish this right here" and not go to court if we paid him. However, as a missionary, God calls us to follow and obey Him and bribery is wrong, not to mention illegal in Kenya. The missionary (He was driving) told the officer that he was a missionary and would not do anything that would bring shame on someone, even in the appearance of paying a bribe. The policeman told us that we would have to go down to the courthouse and that the missionary would be locked up until he could pay the fine. The missionary said "whatever it takes, do what you have to do."  Neither of us had ever met a policeman who was SO insistent on a bribe!
Well, the officer left the window and said he needed to speak with his supervisor.

So, the last paragraph describes the facts. Here is my side. When I see the policeman wave us over, I wonder what is going on. When he leans in my window, 6 inches from my face, I get nervous. When he explains why he pulled us over, I start getting anxious. 100,000 Kenyan Shillings (over $1,000) is A LOT OF MONEY! When the officer starts pushing for a bribe, I get lightheaded and pale. Did I mention his radio at full volume was right beside my ear? I tried to lean my seat back, the officer reacted. I explained about the radio and he turned it off and I sat back up. As the policeman continued to hassle and push for a bribe, I continued to lose my sense of reality and almost passed out once. When the officer left to "speak with his supervisor", I leaned back my seat and before I could stop it had an almost full-blown anxiety attack, in the car, in front of the missionary. I was SOOOOOO embarrassed! The harder I tried to stop it, the worse it got!

I don't exactly know what happened next, but the car started moving and the policeman was gone.

I finally caught my breath and asked the missionary to pray with me and then I was able to calm down. The missionary explained what had happened during my attack and the policeman's reaction. When the missionary saw that I was having an anxiety attack, he felt sorry for me, but thought "this is perfect." He told me I should have seen the look on the policeman's face when he saw me shaking and screaming and asked if I was okay. When the missionary answered no, the policeman told us we could go.

By the time we had found a parking space at the shopping center, I had regained my calm though physically drained. The missionary even had me laughing about the whole situation!

Since the day was hot, I decided to go into the shopping center and help the missionary get the groceries he needed. Thank goodness for shopping carts! They make great walkers when you feel weak!!!!!!! hehe!

The moral of all this is that God uses even the most scary and embarrassing things to His glory! God used one of my biggest weaknesses to show HIS power in getting us out of a potentially horrible situation. Not all police in Kenya are corrupt, but God took care of us when we met this corrupt one.

1 Thessalonians 5: 18 says to "give thanks in all circumstances." Well, I guess that means I should give thanks for my anxiety attacks! I may do my best to control my anxiety and emotions, but I have to be willing to let God use them for His Glory in His Time.

PS. I lost my voice from the screaming.

More on my life soon....